Fear of not being taken seriously.
Fear of freedom and fear of light.
Fear of being superfluous.
Fear that you won’t love your enemy.
Fear of not loving and fear of not loving enough.
Fear that what you love will prove inconsequential.
Fear of death.
Fear of running out of time.
Fear of things left unsaid.
Fear of being forgotten.
Fear that your transformation has gone unnoticed.
Fear that you won’t be fully recognized.
Fear that they won’t understand what all the fuss is about.
Fear that you are too late.
Fear that you never arrived.
- With sincerity, effort, and error.
What is generally hidden from others is explored openly and honestly here in an attempt to elicit the shadow out of myself and the reader. Perhaps you yourself would sooner disguise some struggle you are facing to avoid any feelings of embarrassment or shame. You may even feel you are successful at hiding certain aspects of yourself, though most likely you, like me, are far less successful at hiding your demons than you wish to believe. You may consider that when one is hidden one cannot be helped, nor can they be of use to others. Successfully keeping one’s shortcomings hidden is a self-imposed impediment to one’s growth, usefulness, and happiness. Suffering in silence only increases the suffering and confounds those who care for the sufferer; It is an unhealthy way to cope with life. I hope to show that there is no weakness in admitting and confronting one’s shortcomings. My struggle and experience are well-documented within.
The more I create and write the further I trudge into my insecurities, my private life. I write candidly, honestly, and hopefully in a way that flows well and is easy for the reader to grasp. My work and understanding must be thorough or else I lose balance in life. I write to exercise and relieve my mind.
I have accepted that this life is a challenge, it is difficult, and there are no maps. I have accepted that most of this world is beyond my comprehension and, even more, is out of my control. Through my essays, I hope to illustrate and investigate methods of relinquishing the human will, freeing me from self-will, and releasing the desire for control and power.
Rhett Burch
Leave a Reply